Floating

I've been down lately. Nothing seems to have much meaning anymore. I just wonder what I'm doing with my life. I want to be having fun and doing something useful. Yet I only seem to be able to consume. I only seem to enjoy passive activities. I listen to lots of music. I like reading and playing video games. I also like movies. But I'm not going at anything that does anything...or rather, creates something. I seem to really want something to show for my time spent.
I guess that's the attraction of "building" hobbies. If you are into carpentry, you have a piece of furniture to show for your efforts. If you restore antique cars, you have the restored car to drive around. I seem to want this from my leisure pursuits. I love music so much, I feel like I should produce some kind of music, be it instrumental, a song with lyrics or just performing. I can't just enjoy music or studying the lives of musicians. It doesn't feel like that is far enough for the pleasure I get out of listening. Yet after years of lessons on several instruments (and lots of money), I doubt I could get through one whole song. I take that back, I can play relatively simple folk songs on acoustic guitar and harmonica. Still, that doesn't exactly show blazing progress for the time, effort and money I have put into it.
My malaise isn't just limited to hobbies. It's also related to my job. I'm a technical writer/editor, a job that pays well but really just strangles anybody with a love of language. It is the complete antithesis of literature. You are simplifying every thought, every sentence down to the barest words that can still express meaning. Plus, it's a field that's seen as a "necessary evil". Well, maybe not so necessary. It's almost always the last priority for a technical organization. Yet, what else am I going to do? No way in hell I'm going to journalism...not in today's media. All I know is I don't like it. It bores me. But what else do I want to do?
That's the whole problem. I have no frigging clue what I want to do. Not with hobbies, not with work. Not anything. Nothing seems to be right. I keep trying things and getting nowhere. I really do want to be happy, satisfied. I just have no idea what that will entail.